The Bitch Seat

Nothing too technical here, just Creeping Jennie's perspective on topics ranging from Rally tips, dos and don'ts, things that piss me off, and cool things I want to share.

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Taking the piss

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Is beer rented, or is it catch and release? Either way, we all yearn for a little “release” a few times a day.

Ahhh the porta-potty! Where would Sturgis be without you, portable shit can? I know I would have wet pants, that’s a given. As a middle aged mom of three large C-section babies, I can assure you that my bladder holds about as much as that of a potty training toddler. Under “normal” (HA!) circumstances, this is annoying enough, but in an environment where consuming copious amounts of beer is the standard practice, you can see why the lowly port-a-john is my friend.

A lovely lady visiting the Rally for the first time from overseas had made her disdain for port-a-lets known at the beginning of her visit. I spotted one and proclaimed that I had best utilize it. My companion frowned. “Hmmmm. I don’t like port-a-loos. I’ll wait for a REAL toilet.” I shrugged. Okey dokey.

By the end of the week, she had changed her stance. She spotted one before I did. “Oh thank heavens! I’m glad to see that!” and she made a beeline. I chuckled and followed her. Kind of funny how your perspective changes so quickly.

I have heard a lot of women pretty much repeat the same thing. First, they don’t understand why the venues do not simply install banks of flushing toilets. Then, they express annoyance at having to tip toilet attendants, especially if the toilets in question are, in fact, port-a-potties. Eventually, they resign to reality, and accept their throne.

The city of Sturgis I a small town. There is not call for installing flush toilet facilities everywhere, as they will only be used two weeks out of the entire year. Even well established businesses in Sturgis proper that serve the community year round supplement their sanitation services with thunder boxes. It is what it is.

My advice:

Accept it. It is a crime to relieve oneself in the street, alley, or any public place without the proper sanitation facilities. You could face a fine for “deposit of filth” or public indecency, or both. Public indecency could earn you a spot in the sex offender’s registry, which would really suck and fuck over your future. Don’t whip it out and take a leak. It’s better to piss yourself.

Tip the attendants. You don’t have to tip a lot. Some people say to tip a dollar each time you use the facilities, but if I did that, I would go bankrupt. I tip a dollar for every hour that I spend in a venue, regardless of if the toilets flush or not. If the facilities are not maintained, yet have an attendant posted, I will not tip. That’s just me. Some people tip a quarter each time they “spend a penny” (sorry, learned that in England) but it’s your choice.

Take hand sanitizer. Sometimes there are hand washing facilities available, sometimes not. Don’t take chances.

Don’t miss an opportunity to use the toilet, no matter if it flushes or not.

If you absolutely have no choice but to empty your bladder in less than optimal circumstances, assign a lookout. Be smart. Also, be considerate. Don’t piss on people’s bikes, campers, tents, cars or other property, or pee where it will run into camping areas.

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Jennie was born and raised in the Rapid City, South Dakota area. She met a military man who dragged her around the world. After learning many Italian swear words, Jennie returned home to Rapid City, plus a couple of kids, but minus a husband. She eventually met an Australian man at the Rally and married him. She now occasionally teaches, often writes, and always enjoys the view from the Bitch Seat. Follow me on Twitter @creepingjennie

Comments

  • CarrieO
    CarrieO Sunday, 15 February 2015

    Remember attended toilets highly increases the chances that there will be TP available and well worth the tip. But I always keep a small stash of TP in a pocket when out and about at the rally. You never know when you won't be so lucky!

  • Creeping Jennie
    Creeping Jennie Sunday, 15 February 2015

    Very true, CarrieO! It never hurts to have a bit of tissue in your pocket for just such an emergency!

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